i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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