oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
