neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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