i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
