there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
