I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
