Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize