The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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