Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
