I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
