I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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