Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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