literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
