i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
