Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He passed out mid-signature
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
