I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
