weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
