okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
