he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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