Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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