I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
