So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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