I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
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