What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
