I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am one with the molecules
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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