Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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