Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
