I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
