Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
