Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
