it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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