Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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