So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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