Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
they're like a gay fantastic four
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
