dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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