Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
