just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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