I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
that may or may not have been my penis.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
