We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
