OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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