Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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