i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I will pee on everything he values.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
