Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
