Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
