We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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