Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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