Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
