you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
