FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
