he was CRYING into my vagina
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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