i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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