Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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