he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
