Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
