So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
