She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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