Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize