I hate all girls vehemently.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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