she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
