He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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