I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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