How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
