I cockslap morals
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
