We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
