apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
