Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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