Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me

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(913): View more from Kansas

took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine

Fav 22 5662 954
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(469): View more from Texas

Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.

Fav 23 1192 5639
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

Fav 9 2050 4611
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(972): View more from Texas

I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

Fav 8 2507 1030
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.

Fav 6 2243 1306
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(901): View more from Tennessee

So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.

Fav 6 1433 530
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(314): View more from Missouri

I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED

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