and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize