Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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