i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
