I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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