I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
